Thank you for sharing your story with us, and I would like to say that it is touching and sad, and similar with mine, but with less stages,
I have been raised with my grandmother, due to the separation of my parents in my very early years,
My mother wasn't a drug addicted person,
From your thread I concluded that you suffered in your childhood, and your mother didn't play a good role as moms do, as she was supposed to be, somehow such as dark existence, black spot in your memories,
The bright side in your story is that black existence
Couldn't get over you, neither take u down!
You have your own life to live now and you managed to play your saint role towards your family and your kids further than any negative effect could have been projected on you due to your past!
What doesn't kill u makes u higher!
And I like what u said about forgiveness,
Forgiveness can be your salvation, the key of letting go, who doesn't forgive keeps his mind poisoned, and his soul prisoned and tormented.
My advice to you, forgive and be free...
Get ride of sad memories they only drug u down
Let it go!