((((katie))))
(((((lyn)))))
(((((troy))))
Katie -i dunno-maybe the meds are working - i feel lke i'm sitting on the edge of the abyss. but instead of spinning like i would be normalli - everything feels numb or blank. instead of panicked.

Lyn - i could email her - i am supposed to. but i haven't because i feel guilty that i asked her to do the tape for me and now i can't use it. and because i wasted her time in making it when i am supposed to have the courage to stop and tell her. it reflects on me and i just can't.... besides with her being gone i don't want her to (possibly) feel bad or concerned about me because of it. i want her to think i'm fine and can handle things.

Troy - that is a good idea. i will have to remember that. and usually i could say that i was having a flashback. but since this was the making of a tape, i could talk. make any sense? harder to explain when the moment has passed.

thanks all.