Quote:
Originally Posted by ann bog
To me, the commitment to your relationship sounds genuine. Sometimes displacing emotions can confuse us and maybe that is why we search for reasons behind our behaviors. Sexual attention is attention after all. Look to see what other kind of attention she appreciates, and continue to practice your own values- even if they go unappreciated. As we care for our relationships, we tend to loose sight of what we want too. Does she no longer communicate in ways that were effective in the start of your relationship? Maybe remind her of what your needs are. I’m sure she feels your attention to her, and maybe she is distracted in different ways by the realities and hardships of life. Together is better. Even if we don’t include ourselves or things about the negatives, we can work through issues with communication through actions, words and sometimes silence too.
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I give her plenty of attention. She loves any type of attention, but she really lights up when I give her compliments on her physical appearance. Even if she is upset with me and I don't even give her a genuine compliment she lights up. It is bizzare to me. But it's never enough.
Like I said before, I set aside all my other needs because this one issue drives me crazy. I need fidelity. I am a sexual being as well, but I refuse to take affections from other people for that exact reason. I don't want anyone else's physical or emotional attraction. It actually makes me feel weird and wrong. I've been through so much abuse in this area that I can't handle it anymore. Isn't that the only real difference between a great plutonic friendship and a romantic one? Why do people need to flirt outside a marriage? I don't get it? It drives me nuts. Why do people shrug it off like it's no big deal? Would you flirt with endangering your children's safety? Isn't that your main purpose in a child's relatinship? Would you defend a bully against your own child? Is that cute and silly and innocent? Would you tell a child, "Hey, I feed you and shelter you and teach you to read. This bully you say, is actually a really nice kid. Stop being so dramatic. It's not like I'm taking care of him more than you. We don't even talk to eachother that often. He's your teacher's son's friend. It's no big deal, get over it".