So... once again... true to form... I'm in tears over another "relationship" that seems to have ended before it began, and I can't tell if it's a good thing or not.

I had been communicating with this guy for a few weeks. Why we decided to start communicating during a pandemic is beyond me, but we did. Initially, we had some decent interactions. He was asking some really good questions and he seemed genuinely interested.

After a couple weeks of texting, we moved to video chats, but I noticed that he wasn't really talkative face-to-face, and he preferred texting more (at 38 I think this is juvenille, but I was trying to be open minded).

One night at the end of a video chat, he said he would call me the next day. I heard nothing. Not wanting to make it a thing, I let it go and continued to text / talk one-on-one very limited.

As pandemic restrictions started to lift, I suggested that we meet at a park with hopes that I could see how he interacted in person. We made these plans on 4/30 and were going to meet on 5/8. I confirmed TWICE, and he said he was looking forward to it... the day before, he started pushing the meeting time back (we live about an hour apart). When I asked about the sudden cool reception, he stated that he got his daughter (14 years old) at the last minute and didn't know if he could have her back at her mom' s in time to make our date.

I tactfully challenged this, and reminded him that INTEGRITY was important to me. We ended that conversation agreeing to "get to know each other better" before meeting face to face. During this exchange I expressed my desire to talk one-on-one more. He seemed to agree, but I still had to ask for our next video chat.

The following day, he did call me on his own, and I was quite pleased. I was thinking that my gut feeling that he wasn't really interested (despite saying he was when I directly asked him) was wrong... that I needed to just be clear about my boundaries.

Once again, at the end of that video chat, he said he would call the next day. I got my morning Good Morning text banter and no phone call the entire day. At this point (9 PM that night) I decided to let him know that we should just "be friends" and take the potential romance part out. I feel like I am "chasing" someone that doesn't want to be caught.

He (over text of course) asked what changed and I reiterated everything and he was just like ... "If that's how you feel..."

So why do I feel so awful and rejected? I did something different and asked for what I needed and set boundaries... but now I'm bawling my eyes out.

I never trust myself. Was I too hard on him? Was I demanding too much too fast or am I so desperate that I'll just (continue) to put up with breadcrumbs?

NOT a good day