This is helpful. Actually, I was (and still am) completely OK with not talking / texting everyday.

My radar went off when he SAID he was going to do something and he didn't.

The first time he said he would call and he didn't, I didn't mention it at all. He texted the next day and we continued. My thoughts were... anything could have happened (but I didn't forget it).

The "broken" date, on the other hand, caused me to raise an eyebrow. First, I gave him plenty of lead time to back out or inform me of a change of plans. I sensed some apprehension and even directly asked him if he still wanted to visit, he said yes. The morning before the day of the date, I confirmed a time again and he seemed cool with it. Later that evening, he started pushing the meeting time back which worried me.

He told me that he had his daughter and didn't think he would be able to get her back in time for our date. In my mind, I wondered why he couldn't have arranged to have her back in enough time to visit (and she is 14... not a young child), especially since we had made these plans almost two weeks in advance. I did challenge him on this the next day (requested video chat) and took that opportunity to make it clear that:

1) If he decided that he didn't want to come it was OK
2) I was OK with communicating more before a face-to-face meeting
3) If this wasn't a "love connection" it was OK but just keep it real
4) Early on, I would like to talk a bit more to make sure that meeting face to face is even worth the time money and energy
5) We both have other options, so if it doesn't work... no problem

He assured me that he was interested and I let the missed date go.

BUT... the third time he said he wasn't going to call and didn't really made me think that this is a pattern for him. I understand things happen, but just SAY that. I'm not trying to keep tabs on him, but if he can't even keep his word about a phone call, then is this the start of a string of broken promises?

...and I don't understand the whole kid / custody thing. BUT having had a guy do the same things before only to receive a call from the "ex wife who turned out to be the current wife at home", I'm a bit more careful and ask questions.

I dunno. I've always had a hard time asking for what I need, and I was proud of myself for stating it, and giving him THREE chances, but I don't want to be a doormat anymore....

Oh well... we live and we learn. I don't think I was rushing... I didn't say he had to call every day... just do what you say you're gonna do or just provide a quick heads up if things change.

Could he not have said "Hey... somethings up with my daughter (who he picked up earlier that day), I may not be able to make it... or can we reschedule? Something came up... or even texted "Hey, I'm not feeling well. Can we chat on the phone another time?"

I would have understood that. I get that things come up, and I told him clearly what I needed. VERY nicely! I dunno. I don't get men.