AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i just had a %#@&#! major binge and i cant purge.... does anyone else get it sometimes when it just doesnt work??? Im climbing the walls here... i ate SO much in less than an hour and im now 5pounds heavier than before the binge... five pounds!! thats %#@&#! insane, disgusting and i am so completely revolting i hate myself. I just took some laxatives too chitsy... its so horrible isnt it being stuck in the cycles and trying so so hard but just not being able to escape.. i feel so all over the place right now, so much energy but im too full up to do anyhting i feel like i just want to kill myself, get it over with rather than continuing this miserable existence of stupid %#@&#! bulimia why cant i just have anorexia instead.... I HATE FEELING FULL UPP this is so hard.
sorry guys that this is a terrible post. sorry sorry sorry hope its not triggering....

I WILL get out of this one day.... one step at a time i tell myself and this is one step back after going two forwards... + + - = +

Agh feck.