From my own experience you are all correct! I came from a family where my parents would leave the house to argue. Great, though I never saw them negotiate or compromise. A very equal relationship work-wise, but mum was still expected to handle the household and pretty much raise 3 kids. Something we all noted early on. I found myself with narcissists, attracted to their confidence and charm. But my worst most recent relationship was very violent, manipulative and chaotic. I'm from a minority prone to domestic violence, alcoholism and unemployment. All things that my particular family was NOT, but I still found/find myself attracted to these men, and they to me. I don't consider myself submissive, more stubborn, but I must be. In fact, not surprising, defending yourself makes things worse.