I had an intense session with T yesterday. We talked about something that happened to me when I was younger, 12. He told me that I tell him about past experiences like this like it was a movie. He said that I don't seem to be able to connect with the emotions.

Also, there have been indicators that may or may not point to me possibly having a repressed memory. I remember the first part of it, but nothing else. But I don't think anything horrible happened. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything from myself.

He said that it is possible that I split my emotions/thoughts back then. He said that we are going to do EMDR again.

It's really a weird feeling not fully knowing yourself. Do I or don't I? I may never know. Is there anything I'm not remembering? I have no idea, but I don't feel it now. Would I know this?

It's confusing and I feel helpless because all I can do is sit and wait. Am I making any sense whatsoever? I just don't know.