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sarahsweets · May 14, 2020, 02:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Aviza

People are often commenting about my appearance. I know they mean well and it shouldn't be a big deal but it's giving me a complex. Now I'm starting to feel like looks are all that matter. If i look so great I should be rich and famous. My eyes, my smile, my hair, my face. I'm fat but beautiful. Lose weight and I'd be a knockout my mom says.

This is not a criticism of you but I find the idea that someone who is overweight being automatically unattractive offensive. I know plenty of overweight people that are totally sexy. If men are always commenting on your looks what does that say about them? It sounds like they want one thing and a relationship is not what they mean.

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So what else is there? There are beautiful people everywhere, and they are successful. I'm a beautiful person not successful, kind of feel cheated. I want success. But my personality is lacking. I'm nice but not always and I'm blunt. Just feel like losing weight is my golden ticket but guys already flock to me. Money is what i want. But i have to be a thin rail to get a guy with money. And I'm fat. 16w.

Its concerning to me to hear you say you want money and that the way to get money is to find a man with money. Are you as upfront with the men you date about this? It sounds like you want a relationship in order to have financial benefits and unless the men you date are aware of this it seems very unfair. and again, where does it say that in order to be beautiful you need to be thin? I had gastric bypass in '07 and lost all 127lbs and have kept all but 15lbs off. When I was overweight I had a lot of confidence anyway, at least I presented that way. I never felt ugly but my health was suffering. Since I have lost the weight my husband still finds me just as sexy as when we got married and I was 200lbs. I ended up being 300lbs by the time I had surgery but he adored me and our sex life was still awesome.

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Doing it on my own hasn't worked well. I'm trying even still, but the men I attract are assholes, cheaters, or not rich. I don't know women fear me taking their man cause I'm single. Guy tell me of their wife girlfriend cause of a vibe i must give off. Being friendly, or trying to be as per my job guys smile a lot at me.

again I think your reasons for wanting a relationship should never be about money and personal gain.

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It's a blessing I know it is, but it's a challenge when your socially awkward. I never wanted to be a trophy wife, too stressful. But now I think I'd rather be the trophy being poor sucks. I mean Prince hit on me, but I was engaged. I feared being a trophy wife. I have a fat gene that's hard to manage.

You should not want to be a "trophy" wife. Do trophy wives want to be trophies? Or do you think they are mislabeled that by other men? I cant imagine many women raising their hand and sharing they are trophy wives and did it so they wouldnt be poor. And if you truly have a "fat gene" you need to see an endochrinologist to determine if that is true and to have your thyroid and hormones checked. Someone with an actual "fat gene" usually has an illness, health condition or other factors that relate to genetics. Have you considered surgery? Assuming you qualify? I am not saying the end all must be surgery but you have shared many times about how you want to lose weight. In some cases a "fat gene" is in fact cured by surgery at least the kind I had was. It changed the way I absorb food, it didnt just restrict the amount I could eat. I had a diagnosable slow metabolism which was one of the things I found out when I saw an endochrinologist. The other part of my issue was portion control and sweets.