I have a step-son who is 13 yo - who I've had since he was 5, so I raised him just like two of my younger biological daughters. I have never called him a "step-son" (unless I had to explain or asked straight up if he was my biological son). In my mind and to all around me: I have three kids and he is my son.

Up until a couple of years ago, everything was picture-perfect. We had a great relationship, but in the last little while I've developed a lot of negative feelings toward him, which I'm not sure how to understand or even explain.

He is 13 and going through all kinds of pre-teen stuff (attitude, doing things in spite, testing me, you name it - I guess they are all typical of that age). But when he does things that hurt his sisters' feelings that just puts me over the edge and I get extremely defensive of them. Sometimes I think I even overreact and say hurtful things to him, things that I wouldn't consider saying to my biological kids.

My declining relationship and lack of communication and my reaction to the way he talks with me (with a lot of attitude) is starting to hurt my marriage because my husband always takes his side. I don't want to be in a position where we even have to take sides. I want to be a wholesome family and stop feeling resentment toward him. Is it possible? How can I stop feeling what I'm feeling and see past his attitude? I genuinely want to love him the way I love my biological kids, but his attitude and manner of communicating with me doesn't always allow me to feel this way.