Does your husband disagree that yelling is a problem? Maybe he grew up with it and thinks it’s normal. What matters is, it’s a problem FOR YOU. Surely he can’t deny that.

I’ve suffered greatly from my reaction to my issue with my husband. I’m on meds now and been diagnosed with (varying) things.

The marriage counseling mostly concluded my husband is very anxious and I have emotional dysregulation, based on how intensely I reacted to our problem (which I disagree is dysregulation due to it happening over and over for years.). It was maddening.

Even through all the dysfunction, I had so many reasons to stay.

You are in a much more independent position. You shouldn’t have to put up with misery.

I shouldn’t have put up with misery either, but I fear I did my part because I must really have a disorder. I’m not sure, and this makes me feel lucky he puts up with me!

But, like you, there’s no doubt he’s doing something to me, just like your husband is definitely yelling at you.