my sadness is deep again today. I have zero energy, zero zest. I just want to run away and bawl my eyes out. And I preferably want to run away from my husband and go to my parents' home and finally confide in them about what's happening. I want my mom. I feel like a kid, but I want my mom. They have no clue what's happening and dropped off two dozen roses for our anniversary last week. I want to go stay at their home for like two weeks. My mental health is suffering. I am very unhappy, and I am going downhill.

I am fat and I am depressed. I no longer look like I used to - sexy, thin and beautiful. I look fat and not healthy. I am not in a good frame of mind. When my husband comes home, I want to kick him in the balls, tell him to go to hell and lock myself upstairs away from him. Right now, I want nothing to do with him.