One thing I'm struggling with, which I'll address with a therapist, is how to communicate with our daughters about these things.

When I was a young child, everything was kept tight lipped. There were a lot incidents that 'were' "traumatic" and we were left to process everything alone.

I don't want this for my girls. Dad and I have had a lot of heart-to-heart talks about how we can positively and negatively impact our girls. I'm very conscientious about that and am the one who brings things to the table.

Having said that, I've reacted to things, too. I've lived with a high level of stress.. with my special needs adult son, my estranged family members, isolation issues.. and whatever dad brings forward. I'm not a basket case, though. I don't self-medicate, drink, smoke, or do drugs. I take time for me regularly (and lately, daily) to help decompress. I research, I vent here.. just as an outlet.

I recognize that my daughter is affected and want to help her. Sure, we add a lot of fun into our days. We are always affectionate with our daughters. Our one yr old doesn't seem affected at all. They're both easy going and happy babies... but since that "door" incident (I regret and feel a lot of guilt about) our 3yr old has pushed back to ME for the first time. It's not a good feeling and I'm worried for her.