Hi all,

I‘ve been with my partner for several years , we have a child together. Knowing and understanding the fact that my partner has a very unstable and high in stress type of job I’ve been trying to be as supportive as I can and I’m trying to communicate with him as best as I can.

Though as of late, we’re back in this slippery downhill and this time round I’m lacking the energy since I get to be over anxious .

Last year when I was pregnant I felt at a lost with how he was reacting and coping with certain realities of life :
- at work things weren’t going well, so he often got sick (would vomit before a shift) , would Have migraines , many headaches that would keep him in bed or he just needed to self isolate. Also he has this constant need to play video games . In trying to communicate with him to see where the issue was he denied anything was wrong . Recently he confirmed that he was having a hard time.
- Also , while I was pregnant I also felt disrespected. He never really cared for me. When I was sick twice during my pregnancy, he never supported me but ended up isolating or having migraines those same days. When I had appointments at the drs , before or after he would again mention he felt ill or would have a migraine. And throughout my pregnancy I worked and commuted like crazy and got up very early and I would still do everything for him.
- My parents were often with us to help and he would barely ever talk or be kind to them and seemed frustrated.

This year, things were better . We had communicated enormously and we both said we would see to work things out.

But we’re now back to square one..

-This month has been an up and down on how he feels : headaches and migraines are back . He’s self isolating again. Hes uninterested in family activities though pushes himself to be around though he’s moody when he is with us. And often he would rather for us to do things when he wants but with a kid it can’t always be that way. So this month I’ve tried communicating again with him to see what was going on . At first he told me that work was stressing him out . Then he mentioned he was overwhelmed. I mentioned to him that it’s ok to reach out for help, that there are so many ressources etc etc and fully supported him.

Yesterday he mentioned to me that he wanted a whole day to himself on his days off where he can just game. For every single week. And I never confirmed anything because I was overtired since our baby is up early.

So today, before he was about to go to work I was faced with him being ill again. He mentioned having diarrhea through the night and then suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick , which he did . Then took the day off ..

So my brain is in overthinking mode again thinking is this his reaction to me not answering him yesterday for his gaming days when he’s off ? And what can I do for us to move through this hardship and not sink ..

I get over anxious when he’s feeling this way and I keep thinking is this good for our baby ? Because it sucks all of my energy and makes me overthink everything..I feel like I can’t savor these precious days , just like I couldn’t savor my pregnancy and I wish I could sympathize more but how can I when it’s rarely reciprocal

Ps : He has been doing a lot of night shifts , and this has been happening before covid . Things are really going well here with covid too and it never has been something that bothered him and especially not today ..