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Old May 15, 2020, 07:35 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
My poor hubby is in distress. He seems more distressed now than before he learned he still has his job. He hated his job before, but now they are giving him even lousier stuff to do and requiring that all people in his position submit some of their work for daily review and submit daily spreadsheets indicating exactly what they did, in how much time, etc. It really is extremely excessive. I would be *****ing, too, but for my husband it's especially difficult. Not just because of his physical challenges (his neuropathy is bothering him even more), but because of his tendency to stress and his ADD. Hubby is not the quickest and most efficient at doing certain things. It's not his fault. Instead, they should be utilizing his extreme talents in other ways. He, and some of his colleagues are now forced to do tedious work that emphasizes hubby's weakest points. Hubby said this evening that he wished he had put in for the voluntary retirement. It's apparently too late for that now. A couple of his colleagues will retire at the end of the month, but hubby will still remain.

It really bothers me that I can't do more to alleviate hubby's burden. If only I could work again, and work again at the type of job I used to do. I just don't see that ever happening, and all tdocs and my pdoc agree. I USED TO be able to do so much. Now I push forward too much and I self destruct. Though I would never wish my illness on my husband, if I was the weller one of us two, with my past abilities, talents and strength, our financial situation wouldn't be what it is now. I really wish there was some way I could take better care of my husband than I do. He needs a break.

Many times I have told my husband that I'd live in a tent with him, and even fish and hunt and gather berries. That's not too far from the truth. Unfortunately, my husband would never be able to live as simply as I would. It is ingrained in him to want more of a luxury life, of sorts. It's sort of a shame. To want/need very little, and be happy with that, reduces stress in life a lot. Henry David Thoreau said "Simplify, simplify, simplify!" Always yearning for more seems to bring perpetual frustration and sadness to some of us.

I have written about my stress here. It's affecting me physically a bit, too. I think I'm likely going through perimenopause right now. I'm often hot and sweating. My hormonal yada yada is off. Ladies stuff.

I wish my father's situation was clear and the solution, too. It's scary. It's a shame. I want to run away from it. I feel guilty possibly leaving it all to my siblings.

This pandemic is like a festering wound. It prevents us all from making plans that would otherwise be much more simple. And of course the little things we've been prevented from doing that give us some joy/relief are gone to us right now. Even my husband's strife was a bit more hidden from me when he went away to work each day, Mondays through Fridays. Now it's present 24/7. Though I try to spoil him a bit, as I can, it's not quite enough. He wishes the solutions would just come. Solutions that give him what he wants/needs. There is a feeling of helplessness that's setting in.

Im so sorry that you have so much family and future concerns.. Life is just so hard at times having so many things happening at once...

I felt like such a burden to my husband when I first got sick and I still do... But there is much that I do and I dont give myself enough credit, And I am certain you do the same.. So try to have compassion and kindness for yourself..
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Wild Coyote