I broke something today.

I'm living with my partner's parents, as well as his two brothers. I was trying to close the window in the kitchen because it was getting cool. A glass angel was hanging on the glass, and I knocked it down and broke it.

When I told my partner's mom, she was angry. I'd put the pieces of the angel in a plastic bag, thinking the wings could be glued back on, but she stormed into the kitchen and threw it into the trash. She walked away mumbling about people breaking her ****.

I didn't mean to break it. I try so hard to be considerate of others. I clean up after myself, and after others. And her reaction brought me back to growing up with my own mother, when it seemed I could do nothing right.

I'm so tired of being everyone's punching bag. I'm tired of having to rely on others for a place to live because I'm unable to financially support myself.

Now I'm looking for apartments I can afford with disability, and it's not looking good because there's such a high demand for HUD housing. I want to live in a van and go where I want and not deal with people, but unfortunately that also costs money that I don't have. I'm starting to wonder why I even try if there's no way out.

Thanks for reading if you did. I feel hopeless.


P.S. My partner is autistic and not receiving disability, but unable to work.