Hey, I havent read through your whole thread, I dont have mental ability to right now, Sorry...

About 10 years ago my marriage was basically over, we fought alot about everything and everything... I was trying to get disability and my husband had gone through bilateral shoulder surgery and on workers comp,, So we were just broke, Neither of us had anywhere to move out to, no family to go to.. So we decided to start working on our home to sell it. Both of us struggling with physical issues so everything was taking so much longer..

But we had a sit down talk and both said we just werent happy but that we would treat each other with respect and kindness like we would offer a friend or co worker, No more fighting , just none.. It was hard but we truly decided to be respectful and kind while we made further decisions.. with in a couple weeks it became just natural to say please and thank you... something we realized we mostly stopped doing at some point... I have no idea when but it had stopped.

Now I am not saying this will fix things or even help..but.... The ongoing fighting isnt healthy.. So why not call for a truce so you both can find time to decompress and can think about your marriage but much more about when did your friendship end.... I think at the core of every relationship failure its the lose of that other person being your best friend...

Just a thought... I hope things can settle down and you can catch your breath soon