Something must be bothering you for you to post here about your affair. I would find out the source of your angst. Is it really your affair or just some underlying issue that is really bothering you? I feel that if your conscience is bothering you about having an affair, then may be it is time to step back and realize you are hurting a lot of people, including yourself. I understand you are not happy with your husband now but what made you marry him then? You must have thought he was the one for you before. I would think about this seriously before you ditch him. Your longing for this other man is mostly physical and the attraction to the unattainable forbidden fruit. I see how your illness can be playing a role in all of this- the impulsivity, the lack of moral judgment, etc. Please talk to your therapist or find one to sort out your situation. I find your post difficult to read but can relate because I am also ill with a similar disorder. Please don't throw away your husband for a sordid affair that only gratified your impulses and may be your hypersexual appetite. I feel you are wasting your energy and time with this other man. Your affair sounds rather impulsive and feeding a desire for the illicit. Please remember that you should not put yourself in such a situation again where a man can take advantage of you. I've been there too and know I allowed some men to take advantage of me and realized this later. This is due to my poor judgment also like yours. I would work things out with your husband and hope that he forgives you if he finds out. If I were you, I would be grateful for your situation- good career, marriage, etc, and work on controlling your impulses and desires by talking to your therapist about these issues and trying to solve them with positive solutions and behavior. Best wishes!