I'm a little lost with your story.. and it could be why you haven't received any responses yet.

Your son who's in need of medical support has a dad with "NPD"? If so, you need to learn how to disassociate from him and not take things personally. As your one son said, he is who he is and he's an ex .. not your problem.

Try and focus on your son's treatment. Gather everyone's contacts (police, hospital, lawyers, etc) and speak to them directly.

If he's allowed one visitor per day, see if dad can agree to a schedule. Do your part and not worry about what he's doing. You need to rise above for the sake of your son. He needs you now the most.

Dad kissed him on the mouth. Let it be. He's showing compassion. It may be his way of dealing with his loss, too, if your son does not fully recover.

What I see is that you're focusing too much energy on dad than your son. I'd change that.

Other than that, I'm not sure what the real problem is between you and dad. Like I said, your story was confusing for me to read. My apologies.