Quote:
Originally Posted by TunedOut
I now recognize the one of the problems my marriage had was that I did not always require our children to respect their dad the way I should. We did not work together as a team as we should have. So I did not have his back the way I should have. It was not good for our children. It probably caused H to have some emotional outbursts too. I am grateful that he still loves me despite what happened. I am grateful that I see his value more fully now. I love him more than before but I still have some slip ups. The slip-ups are less serious than before because I see my role in what happened much more clearly. He made some mistakes too. Marriage is a complex thing that is hard to fully explain and perhaps some of it is just between our husbands and us. You are both still together.   I hope you and your husband still keep trying. I bet their are many good things between you but that you are just feeling down and discouraged today. I hope it gets better for you and your husband. It was very bad for me and is a lot better now. I take some medication too. It has helped; I am not sure how much of a role my medications play overall but they have definitely helped.  |
When the incident happened with our otherwise ideal son, we spent many months going back over every possible thing that might have caused him to treat us that way. You can always find reasons. Had the incident not happened, we never would have had to go back and blame ourselves. Who knows why things go bad sometimes?
I remember being really little and trying to get my father to say yes to something when my mother said no. He would always just say that whatever my mom said goes. Darn it, I couldn’t play them!
My husband and I were very similar in that I was the main say about everything. He was busy with work, so I was the one to know about everything. I was raised with the women in charge, so this was a good arrangement for me. Looking back, there were problems with the father not being involved enough. They didn’t get enough male influence.