I guess because we do love each other. We are family and have raised kids together. We really do have a good time together aside from this issue.

I want to feel love the way I want it. I want my man to protect and defend me. I know my feelings about this are partly due to some emotional issue I have, and I am ashamed of that. But he will not give it to me because that’s just not who he is.

How did I get so obsessed and rigidly fixated on this? I put more blame on me than I do on him.

There are many more reasons I would love to say, but that’s a whole lot of honesty. Worst of all; I fear being all alone in my old age, I am sure he will get a trophy wife and I’ll be jealous (I know this is stupid), also I am fearful about the separating of finances and all that goes with that.

We have a very long time together. You have only a short time in later years. Honestly, I started to think of getting out just after having two kids, but that would have been way too scary for me. That’s how long this struggle is going on!

My former boyfriends were either me longing for their unrequited love (limerence) or me breaking up with them after I didn’t feel it at all or after a short while.

So, I’m thinking there’s something wrong with me.

And amazingly, he never said he wants to end it. He doesn’t act bothered by me. He’s a cool customer. No reaction, no complaining. He just tunes me out. I’m still always very good to him, despite cracking up. I pout, then make dinner.