Thank you for everyone’s response.

As far as abuse goes, he has not done it in a long time, and when he does he does not leave marks. It’s more pushing, or holding me down and screaming in my face, that kind of thing. Just because he doesn’t leave marks doesn’t make it okay, hence why I categorize it as abuse. It’s a control issue.

Another thing that needs to be clarified. I’m no longer with the other guy. The other guy was filling an emotional void for me. We were work friends, very good friends, for years before things got physical. But he’s gone. He’s been gone for close to a month. I have no intention of reconciling. This post wasn’t me trying to figure out if I should leave my husband for this other man. It was a post to see if I should leave my husband period. I’m confused, yes. Naive, yes. (Thank you for the poster that pointed that out several times ((not))). He has control issues. And anger issues. But I’m so scared of divorce. Just terrified. No one is perfect. My husband has issues, but so do I, and so do you. The question is our marriage salvageable? How can I be sure? If it’s not, will I be doomed in the future in other relationships? My BP disorder makes me very moody and sometimes low energy at home (I use all my energy at work).

Also, please be empathetic if you can. My emotional state is quite fragile lately. Thank you all for your continued support.