This week is my birthday. Next week is the birthday of my narcissistic ex-friend. We had a terrible falling out. She perpetuated it...the second week of lockdown during Covid 19. She said things that made it absolutely impossible to repair the decades-long friendship.

I went No Contact. I threw away all letters and cards from her. But sometimes I dream about her. And often...when I am feeling at my lowest...I think about the things she said. Such cruelty. It was like...I felt I never knew her. And in the end she showed up as this wicked witch.


Today I wrote her a letter. Mainly about how shocked I was that she pretended we had a friendship then attacked me without mercy...in a series of text messages I will regret reading until my dying day.

Yes, I know all about narcissists...and mostly, if she was one, I am relieved she is no longer in my life.

But, you know, it IS HARD to not try to get in the last word. I am going to take the letter I wrote and put it in my lockbox. I think it would be best if she thought I had completely forgotten about her.

Thank goodness I can come on here and talk about it instead of sending her a letter. Being a narcissist she will just...use whatever I say against me.

How I didn't know she was a narcissist seems complicated. All I can say is she hid it well and was...I think what you would call a covert narcissist.

I miss the friendship I THOUGHT we had. And, of course, the timing is bad as I could not just go out looking for a new best friend.

I know my life is better without being tortured by a disguised narcissist.

But I have been sad, too, almost like I am grieving her death.