Background: My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have two little ones ages 7 and 5. We both work full time. For so many years we were caught up in routine, but there have been a lot of bumps along the way. Our marriage has been shook quite a bit. We've both been deceitful. He hid his substance abuse whereas I hid an emotional affair with someone at work. Both of these things are now under control, and we are working towards repairing our marriage.

My therapist has suggested a few times the possibility of a trial separation. At first I dismissed the idea, but after thinking it through I've decided I do want to give it a try. I've always been into real estate and I would like to purchase a multi unit property - live in one property while managing the tenant for the other property. I was thinking we could commit to a few months to a year of separation to heal from our wounds, to give me a chance to breathe, and to figure out if I truly want to be in this relationship. I do not feel connected to him at all. Lately I've just been wanting out.

Last night I proposed my idea. He listened, and then said no. I feel like I wasn't asking, like I really need him to go along with this. Why does he have a right to shoot down everything I want or feel like I need? He always does this. He said that it sounds like one of my crazy bipolar ideas. It's just so hurtful. He's so systematic and frugal and responsible and I never get any kind of excitement or anything I want unless he wants it too.. which is almost never the case.

Tomorrow we are going to couples counseling and I hope to talk it out there.

I just feel like he never sees me, doesn't listen to what I truly want, doesn't value my dreams or my hopes. I live such a rigid and systematic life and I want out. I need this separation to find myself and to keep me busy fixing up older homes and renting them out.. a passion that he's never agreed to. But it's perfect for me right now. Also my kids are finally old enough where they can stay with me on the weekends and with their dad during the week and I feel like they are less dependent on me. I want what is best for my kids and they deserve two parents who love each other. I don't know why but the love for my husband is just.. gone.