As much as I want to and have tried to be supportive of my husbands struggles, I think that I am done. We have been together for almost 7 years, married for 2.5, and have 2.5 year old twins together.
You may be wondering why the heck I decided to have kids with and marry this person, but he can very much be like two different peoplehappy, enthusiastic, affectionate and loving. He will apologize and express remorse and say it will never happen again. Early on, I fell for this over and over and forgave him every time. And the other times, when he is stressed or unhappy, angry, cold, distant, and very nasty. Some of it has to do with drinking, but not always.
I started to believe it. Until I began talking to a therapist, however, and she convinced me this was neither normal or okay (as if I didnt already know that deep down).
When he is angry and stressed, about work and especially now with Covid, he becomes very unhappy and dissatisfied with our relationship. He starts to become passive aggressive and cold, but then tells ME that I hate him. I am just trying to go about my day and to be happy and take care of our twins as best I can. His moods feel unpredictable and I am on guard. I know that I am human and not perfect and Im sure that I contribute to some of the faults in our marriage, but it feels like he is using me as a scapegoat, and that he is not addressing deeper issues that he needs to work on.
Today we talked about things, but really it was just him telling me how I feel (that I dont care about him), and also telling me that I dont have enough of the same interests as he does, that I am not social enough and he needs more of a social life, and that his ex girlfriends/fiancés had many more of the same interests as him even though he didnt like them as much. Oh, but that I am a great person and hes not asking me to change. Not once did he ask me how I feel.
Sorry, this post is turning into a vent. I guess I want to knowam I justified in wanting to throw up my hands and give up on this?