A lot of people here may recall that my father is due to finally come home at the end of this month after 6 months in various hospitals combined with assisted living. My dad is overwhelmed and deep down doesn't want to come home. There are several reasons, but one is surely my brother.

My sister is at our dad's house right now helping my brother clean up my brother's mess and to clean a house that hasn't been properly cleaned for perhaps 12 or 13 years, or even more (some things). I refused to go today because a) I don't want to see my brother's mess, and b) I know my brother would have a tirade at some point in the process. I'll call her tonight and ask if it's safe to come tomorrow.

My brother is prone to tirades, and always has been. Very scary ones, but many in my family had such tirades, so it became "normalized". My father is intimidated by them, unlike when he was younger. They're not good for either of their health. I can't tolerate them anymore, either.

My sister says that our brother's behavior has been strange lately, in addition to more frequent tirades. As just one example, he keeps telling her that he believes someone is coming and trying to kill his honeybees.Why would someone do that? He just installed four surveillance cameras aimed at the honeybee hives. I suppose such mischief could be possible, or is my brother just mentally unwell? If the latter, I'm definitely concerned about him, and concerned about sending my father home to him.

I talked about all of this with my therapist today. She asked if my brother has a mental illness. Fact is, I don't know. My brother has said in the past that he thinks he may have some level of "bipolarism", as he likes to call it. I've blown that off in the past, but what if it's true? He's definitely had issues, though. My therapist asked if my brother sees a doctor, and the answer is a definite "No". My brother believes that mental illness is true and serious, but he stigmatizes it, all the same.

I don't want to be dealing with a potentially unwell brother right now, on top of things. My sister and I have discussed asking our brother to move out of our dad's house, if he is detrimental to our father's wellness. But if our brother is also unwell, then what?

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like crying there is so much stress all around me, including my poor hubby. Mentally, I think I'm stable, but I'm biting bitter every day.

If my husband was at work instead of working from home, I might even consider having my dad over to my house for parts of days, in the beginning. But I don't know how I would handle that. That might be just a pipe dream. Plus, this horrible pandemic! How surreal this situation is.