I think getting a text, even worse a group text about the death of someone very close to you is very bad. Honestly, to call, individually, the important people to the deceased is the least someone could do out of respect. When my father died, someone other than my mother (who was too bereaved) called people for her.

But these days with email and texts there’s an acceptability to group message people on the B list. Recently my uncle passed and nobody told me when was the funeral. I would have gone had I known. It was pretty rude that I was overlooked. I didn’t even get a group text. He had divorced my aunt many years ago and we were’t close, but still, he was my uncle.

We also had another cousin pass lately. My aunt sent a group email to me and my sisters just to let us know he passed. I would have taken my mom to the funeral, but she only wanted to post on his wife’s facebook sending her condolences, so we didn’t ask about the funeral. His wife (my mom’s 1st cousin) was very insulted that all my mom did was post a very nice condolence message from her and our whole family. Again, we weren’t really close. All of them spend many years not speaking because this 1st cousin said really insulting things), but c’mon, what’s wrong with an 85 year old woman posting condolences on facebook? So it got back to me that they were all mad at us, and I mailed a condolence card several months later.