I am so very sorry you are in the middle of this familial mess, BirdDancer. I wa wondering, thinking about all this, if it might be conceivable to "schedule" things over at your dad's. So, you could pencil in time when it is not your irascible, unpredictable brother's slot. Or would he just bulldoze such a plan? Is it possible to have a frank discussion with your bro about this in the presence of your sister? Is she a moderating influence? I just can't remember--sorry. Another thought, just to lay out for him expectations now that dad is home. Or has that all already been done long, long ago?

I have always been a believer in bringing support along with me when faced with potentially troublesome scenarios. conversations. Just thinking perhaps this sorta plan might help. If not the sister, someone else?

Your brother does sound ever-so-slighly psychosis-ish, speaking as a it of an expert in the phenomenon. Irritability, in my humble opinion, should be a diagnostic criterion for bp 1--that's how common it is., as you, of course, have vast expertise in. My first pdoc was reticent to make the diagnosis if she could not identify badass irritability at some point. So, maybe he is somewhere on the spectrum. Could be. But it doesn't really matter what you call it, if he refuses to ask for or receieve help.

Sending you strength and support and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!