i'm going to try to take a few classes at my community college this semester.

i have a BA already but hopefully these classes give me more direction or skills. i'm mainly looking at art/design classes since that's the field i'm in.

i'm thinking seriously about grad school. i realized i want to be a specialist in something. and be the best at what i do. my ideas are: criminal psychologist or chef (culinary school). i'm not sure if i'd need grad school for my current field. maybe an adjacent degree would help though. i don't know if i want to continue in my current field. i do but i also lack any direction whatsoever so i can see myself doing something else. sometimes i think, i landed where it suits me. i must have known subconsciously that this i want i wanted.

i'm nervous about the grad school idea because i failed a psych class in college and ended up majoring in something other than psychology. i didn't know i could retake the class, the professor was intimidating, and i was in a mental crisis that semester. i'm also worried because i am an awful student. i think my crippling depression has actually lowered my brain capacity and i can't think.

i've also been thinking about joining the army in some capacity.

i also want to become a yoga instructor. i could teach night classes and earn some extra money.

so for now i'll keep taking classes at my community college, try to volunteer at a hospital, start yoga teacher training, and find a way to retake the class i failed or another way to get into grad school.