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If it's how you feel then it's how you feel no right or wrong about it. For what it's worth I do not think you are wrong. I will say that I could not stay with someone that stayed friends with an affair partner. I would just not be able to trust them to just be friends. Right or wrong that's how it would be.
I would suggest counseling both couples and individual if you haven't already tried that.
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I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
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