Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa
Wow! What a story. You have me so nervous about Facebook now!
Last year the brother to this cousin died. My sister-in-law told me not to send a card but simply post a condolence on Facebook...so I did because I felt she was more informed than I was about such things. Yesterday I did the same and posted a condolence on Facebook. But now I am a little worried about it because of your story!
Also, after reading your comment I can see where my brother might think I over-reacted. Maybe he uses group texting more than I do...which is...I pretty much never use it. Also, he probably sees me as someone on the "B" list because I live out West while he is on the East Coast close to family. My brother pretty much thinks America stops at Ohio! Seriously! We all gathered at my sister's house in Petaluma, CA when she was dying a few years ago...and my brother acted like he was in Australia or something!
I have lived all over, and on both coasts, and I do view my brother as someone quite...geographic-centric.
I can see it is very complicated.
I have probably given my brother another reason to think I am nuts.  |
I suppose every family has its dynamics.
I think the only acceptable thing my cousin wanted for us to have done was to attend the funeral for the few of us who lived close, and to mail cards for the ones who live far. Keep in mind though, this cousin has been consistently obnoxious to my mom over the years, and the way we heard about the death was an insulting way to my mom. My cousin’s son contacted my aunt’s daughter, who told my aunt, who told my mother and who emailed me and my sisters. It was very insulting that my mother, the older cousin (they were all very close at times), the one who lives close enough to attend the funeral, was not contacted at all by the family. Then when she leaves a facebook post, they saw it but deemed it not good enough.
If you are feeling doubts about your facebook post, you could mail a card, too- the old school way.
People are all strange. I don’t know what to make of them. If we all were polite, the world would be a nicer place.
You not getting told of your father’s death and missing th funeral WAS traumatic! I’m so sorry that happened to you.
