I often need to hear that she is looking forward to seeing me or was glad to hear from me. We haven't really dug into that need very much because I have too much shame/guilt around it. I have made it clear to her that I still need to hear those words in order battle the inner voices of being "too much" in some way.

I think of these types of acknowledgements differently than praise. As far as being told I did something well, there are many factors in I respond to and experience the praise, I think I'd have to build a flowchart to be able to tease out the nuances. In general, I crave and also do not do well with receiving praise.