The 7 Answers I Desperately Needed After the Narcissistic Discard

His threats to leave you are his effort to control you. It's very concerning that he gets abusive when he drinks. He is binging from what you have shared. These individuals think they can control their drinking, but they ALWAYS end up binging and losing control again.

He won't like it when you get help and can see through him and stand up for yourself. The scary thing is that when he drinks he gets abusive. That's not a healthy thing for you to live with AT ALL.

The article I posted here has a lot of good points, it does a good job at explaining how these individuals DO NOT really care and how they can't love you in any NORMAL way.

I was wondering what kind of home you grew up in, often without realizing it some of these bad behaviors feel normal because they are familiar. Well, they are NOT normal or healthy and it sounds like you are living a very similar relationship you watched your mother live. Yes, there are those times where these dark triad individuals "love bomb" and can profusely apologize, but ALL they are doing is pulling you back into their trap, they do not LOVE in any kind of NORMAL WAY. Yes, these individuals CAN be charming and seem to care but THEY DON'T.