I have been married for almost thirty years and my youngest leaves for college this fall. I have been holding off leaving this tired relationship until then. Maybe it is my midlife crisis at 51, but I realize that I want MORE! I want to explore, to let my light shine, to live! The hubby is perfectly content the way things are...we don't talk much, because we have so little in common, except for our 2 kids. We don't fight, we don't make love, we just exist in this big old house. A part of me feels so guilty for wanting to leave, for wanting more, but if I stay, I know that my light will turn to a glimmer and then fade out altogether. His happiest moments are when the weather changes to warm and he can leave his recliner for the porch swing! He hasn't even slept in our bed for 4 years and prefers the couch and the dog to me and my bed. As noted in another post, I want the Zing that others have! Life is too short to not let my soul sing...but the downside is...my kids will find it hard to forgive me for taking this step. They want things to stay the same....the home to always be there, with Mom and Dad there. My daughter would say, "What dreams, what life? You are an old lady and you're not supposed to want more when you have me! Besides who will take care of Dad?"

I hope there are others out there who at some point, felt the same way. I would love to hear how you handled it...did you leave...was it the best thing you ever did, or do you regret it? Thanks for letting me put into words the heavy feeling in my heart.........