Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Rituals do help. I agree
We have to be extremely organized when death occurs because we burry next day or maximum a day after and you have to follow routine. My mom passed away at 5am and we were on the phones starting 8am and in a funeral home making arrangements at 10am, you have to get funeral sorted right away and shiva and get rabbi for shiva and food for everyone all in one day, we were going to have funeral next day, but had to do a day after because family from overseas couldn’t get on the plane until next morning as it was too late.
I think being that busy and organized takes over your grief and helps you to stay sane. Although my dad was totally insane the entire time. He stopped being insane this February, after we had her first death anniversary. He came to terms I think. He literally said “I strangely feel better”. Me and my brother looked at each other funny, but then we understood what he meant. But right after her death anniversary my uncle died. Ugh start all over. Story for another day.
But I agree it’s important and helpful to follow prescribed ritual. It does help to get through and stay connected and busy.
Sorry didn’t mean to hijack, just joining in on the topic of funerals
|
I am familiar with all this because my ex-spouse was Jewish. They had a deeply religious thing for his Mom and because I wasn't Jewish I was not permitted to attend. As she was
literally my Mom since my own Mom died when I was young this made me sad. My ex wasn't religious and he was kind of upset as he said it wasn't what his Mom would have wanted. His older brother arranged everything.
I am beginning to think I have a lot of emotion around death rituals!
Even though I am not Jewish and divorced, every year I buy one of those Memorial Candles and let it burn until it is all gone...as a way of remembering my mother-in-law and father-in-law, who I loved very much. They themselves were not very religious so I imagine they would be pleased with my gesture - as it's a simple gesture of love and gratitude. They would have preferred their son marry a nice Jewish girl, but he remarried and again she wasn't Jewish...so I can see them shrugging, like, what are you gonna do?