I want to read your book Job. If I get better, I will. Maybe my cognition is on the decline because I can't even read the books that i personally find the most interesting to me.

I've been depressed for like a month. I keep arguing with the "soldiers" in my head and struggling with not wanting to live yet being too scared to die. I feel like even my family doesn't love me.

The meth house thing is getting me down as well. I don't have the strength to deal with it because I feel lifeless like my existence has no meaning and I'm just like a dog being dragged through life (Hell) by a leash.

My mom was shaking a jar of green liquid and I said that it could explode but she didn't listen to me she was just like "What's this green paint stuff". Well apparently it's a meth lab in that room and the cops said to leave the house - But we still have to clean it. People keep trying to break in because rumor is that theres a big bag of heroin in the house.

And I can't focus on my future. I'm feeling like I just;