Grandma(mother in law) has just been moved to assisted living.
She is making everyone in the family's lives hell. This has been going on for years. Everyone agrees that she is a "toxic" person, and everyone who has tried over the years to help has had to pull away for their own health and well-being. She says she is on a hunger strike until we move her home.....but she was seen eating hearty meals in the dining room shortly afterwards. She makes phone calls every 5 minutes for up to 6 hours to her son, (other son she hasn't spoken to in 15 years...and he LIKES it that way!) She has accused numerous people of stealing her car, checkbook, credit cards, etc. The people at the new assisted living think that there is a mental problem; either bipolar, DID, or Alzheimer's. But I know that she is Borderline and paranoid. She has all the classic traits.
we have taken her to a general doctor, but all they have done so far is blood tests, etc. She is also very devious in getting attention by claiming she is ill. Maybe she really is, and maybe she isn't. She has cried wolf so many times before that we don't believe her anymore. Maybe a little Munchhausen there?
Strangely, the reason I am here is because I am Bipolar, on regular medication, and was doing fine for the first time in YEARS until this %#@&#! hit the fan. I have a special needs child and a new business. I can only handle so much. However, I feel very guilty because I have stopped going to see her, answering her calls, etc. She overwhelms me with her needyness, anger, and paranoia. What can I do? I wish she would just go away or die or something. She is 81 and widowed. She just rang my phone for the third straight hour today. Every 5 minutes. Also sending letters.This is torture. It is abusive. We can't get a caregiver to stay with her for long because she abuses them, too. Everyone has run away but my husband and I. He deals with her by avoiding her calls, etc. He says to not let it bother me. Easy for him to say. He got to practice for 50 years! I was NOT raised with this kind of behavior. (My family was suicidal, not manipulative and vindictive). Help!