Quote:
Originally Posted by Woundedsoldier
My partner cheated on me, which in and of itself was bad enough. It hurt me to the core. It went on for several years and I’d even questioned it but was assured there was nothing. I also find out during that time that my partner is an alcoholic and I didn’t know that either.
My partner says it all happened because of the alcohol. I couldn’t have them still be friends and stay together. To make a long story short, we stayed together but now my partner is going through the steps of AA and they made amends with that person. They are now back to being friends on social media, have talked on the phone. I feel as though I’m being sliced to the core all over again. Is it natural for someone that has cheated on you to remain friends with the one they cheated on you with?? I feel they would rather be friends with the one they cheated with than be concerned about my feelings and how it hurts me so much. Am I wrong???
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There's something off to me that your partner blames it all on the alcohol, it sounds like being an alcoholic and seeking help for that is only a part of truly making amends, cause not every intoxicated person goes out committing infidelity. There were reasons and emotions behind what he did, and it doesn't sound like he's taking ownership of that. Which is something that I think is required in moving past what he did and trying to repair the relationship.
So if you still intend on trying to rebuild the relationship, maybe telling him what you told us in your original post is something you could do if you haven't already. You already did before, i wonder if maybe he feels because he's made "amends" that it's ok to remain in contact with her? That or, there's more to it then simply remaining in contact. He has a lot of explaining to do either way, and as another poster said, the burden of proof is on him.
But absolutely no one would blame you for ending the relationship.