Quote:
Originally Posted by Wander
Saw my pdoc today. He is going to chat to some clinical friends of his to try to sort out a benzodiazepine taper schedule that I can manage without bad withdrawals like I have had. Until then I am staying on 3 mg a day. Otherwise all is well. My moods have been stable for ages now. As has my PTSD. Fibromyalgia is still bad but I have more energy since I got the withdrawals under control. I have been able to get back into reading, and have also made it to the beach to sit and watch the surfers. It is so soothing. I am so happy to be able to get out of my flat again but I am going to have to be careful I don't go too hard and start another flare-up. I am still lonely though.
My 'friends' who live in my city don't return my messages. The only real friends I have who contact me live interstate or in the U.K. Luckily I have great parents and a wonderful sister so I am not without company for too many days at a time. Things with my 'partner' are complex. He is suffering from trauma and Bipolar and wants to be alone a lot. He doesn't have a car so can't come to me and I have been too exhausted to go to him much in the last two months. He also 'borrows' money that I never see again and when he does stay over eats all my food without offering to help. We are both broke. It is his big character flaw. He is wonderful in other ways but often I feel used. It is impossible to talk to him about it as he goes straight to intense defence. So, I just let it slide and try not to give him money I can't afford to lose. If he were grateful I would be happy to give, but he seems to expect me to help him out with money. We get the same payment from the government and he pays less in rent. He is just useless with budgeting.
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I'm thrilled you are feeling better!
I know you're not as "recovered" as you'd prefer to be.
I certainly understand. I was always a standout athlete prior to the sudden onset of CFS ( aka
SEID* ), then Fibromyalgia, followed by a myriad of additional diagnoses. My life has never been the same. It's taken me a long time to adjust. I have grown a great deal and in a direction I like! Yes, there are still some challenges, and I do my best to meet them with courage!
Benzo withdrawals can be extremely difficult.
I went through a withdrawal for which I'd needed to be admitted to the hospital. I had taken the med exactly as prescribed. The pdoc had later admitted he was using very high doses of Xanax . He and his colleagues were "investigating" the use of high-dose Xanax. (He had prescribed 14mg. of Xanax per day.)
I was totally ignorant. I'd never used it before.
During detox I was so weak and shaky I could not hold a cup up to my lips to drink water. I shook 24/7 for approx 8 days. Headaches, Drenching sweats! And more...It was a very difficult detox.
I'd gone through yet another benzo withdrawal (clonezepam) just 3 years ago.
This was MUCH easier than the other detox. Yet, we all react differently.
I Hope Life Gets Much Easier For You!!!
Love and Prayers ~
*SEID : Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disorder. This is now the name for CFS in the U.S. The exertion intolerance shows up as severe fatigue. The fatigue can be physical, cognitive and/or emotional.