Divine is right. As far as I know there is absolutely no exclusion of anyone in attending a Jewish ceremony. In Orthodoxy ALL women sit on one side, men on the other. Women do not read from the Torah,(the actual scrolls, the printed books passed out are okay) only men read the scrolls. Those people purposely went to exclude you! How horrible!

You’ve had some bad luck with funerals.

I’m glad everyone is okay with the facebook condolences. I think in my case, my cousin was going to say something rude no matter what we did. It’s funny how it’s such proof of gossip that it got back to me months later that she was mad at us. Trash talk went all around the country until it got back to me. Then, I sheepishly mailed a card.

I think one problem with or celebrations and sad life events being disappointing when it comes to support of those close to us, is that everybody has moved far away. So it’s harder to be there. Sometimes, all they care to give is a group text. We feel like we are worth so much less to them. Back in the day, they had to call on the phone. They lived not far and they would attend the event.

“Shiva takes place in the home of the spouse, parent, sibling or child of the deceased. The mourning family opens their home and invites family, friends, and community to meet them in their grief. Though shiva is a religious event, any non-Jews are welcome to this event.”