I'm so very sorry for your loss.

If you are suicidal you can reach someone to speak with at 1-800-273-8255, the National Suicide Hotline.

A good listening line is Caring Contact, Get Support - Caring Contact - Just a Phone Call or Text Away, 908-232-2880 or text "heart" to 741-741.

How often has he been a real friend/go to person since you two got involved a year ago?