Well, I am so very surprised to hear about all this, but I am also glad it came out and got cleared up. After all, at the time of my mother-in-law's funeral I had been married for over ten years. At the time of my father-in-law's funeral I had been married for over 20 years, but I simply didn't attend because I felt because I was not Jewish I was automatically excluded. Obviously my ex knew nothing about his own religion because he seemed as perplexed as me.

So basically, for all these years, I had a mistaken belief.

As for why those in-laws excluded me...who knows their reasoning? It wasn't anything personal, I'm certain, it had to do with their orthodoxy. They went kind of off the deep end with being orthodox and I think everyone in that family was perplexed. I think it was mainly the wife's doing.

You know...in the end it doesn't really matter. I had a great relationship with my mother-in-law and father-in-law and was very fond of them. All I remember are all the good memories when they were alive.

How we live is how we will be remembered...and the funeral is not something in our control.



PS Being in a so-called mixed marriage can be a challenge. My ex and I had to put up with a lot of ignorance from family members. So we were kind of used to it. To us it seemed like the height of ignorance. The first year we were married we joined Peace Corps and went around the world and lived on a remote Pacific island. We learned a lot from Peace Corps about tolerance and acceptance.