I think perhaps it could be worth considering holding compassion for the fear your T is experiencing at this time. It is not personal or a choice she makes to harm her clients. It is a choice she makes from a fear based protective perspective. Human to human, amd especially a human who understands fear, you can respect that even if it is incongruent with her selected profession.

Is that the healthiest perspective to adopt? No. Is it a good example for her clients? No. However, I think it is clear it is less about you and more about her. Maybe you could feel less abandoned of you viewed it as her attempt to hold herself together and less as an attempt to destabilize and abandon you. I imagine she wants what is best for you, but the fear clouds her judgment. You have every right to be disappointed, but try not to take it personally. You're great and you deserve the level of service that is right for you.

Sometimes change can bring a wealth of positive experiences your way. If you need to do trauma work, maybe it is time to seek a new therapist that is willing to meet in person and offers you more education and knowledge around the purpose and specific goals for your time together. 'Trauma work' is like saying 'eating healthy'. It means something different to everyone and it is a wide subject. It is imperative to know what your specific service provider means and what they are attempting to offer you in terms of strategy and value. It is important to know what kind of work and effort they expect from you in return. It is important to educate them on what trauma means to you and what you need assistance in healing.

Why hide the fact you see demons from your pdoc? Maybe this is wrong, but I feel that is precisely the kind of information she needs to assist you.

I think it is cool you gave the video appointment a chance. I know it isn't preferable, but you're open to change as needed and that is valuable and commendable. Nice job!