What an incredibly difficult dilemma to be in. I honestly don't know what I would do for the best and I don't think anyone can tell you as it needs to come from what you think is the best thing to do for your own situation. All I can say is that if you do decide to take the 12 sessions, maybe make it a priority to talk about your abandonment issues and how scared you are about the sessions ending and having no follow up. Maybe there will be options that you haven't thought about. This T will have a duty of care for you like any T and needs to be aware of what kind of state you could be left in after the cap so she can help you manage that and look at ways of dealing with it.