In the past week I learned my partner has emotionally cheated on me for our entire relationship and lied twice about it. He acts like it's no big deal. 2 days later my grandma died. I tried to talk to him about it tonight and ask him questions like "have you been manipulating me this entire time?" and "do you think I'm stupid?" and "are you willing to put in the work required to rebuild our relationship?" He threatened to kick me out, told me he needs space and I need to respect that. His needs are above mine, I don't do enough to help him. He basically blamed me for why he hasn't achieved his yearly goals, even though when I try to keep him accountable he acts like I'm nagging. We've been best friends for 3 years prior to getting involved a year ago. But he's been emotionally distant at best, abusive at worst for most of this past year. But he's literally my best friend, my person. I've gone to him in the past when I've been suicidal but tonight as I'm searching for resources he told me to turn off my computer and go to bed because I'm being loud and keeping him up. I told him I'm suicidal. He let me go outside alone. My grandma is dead and I can barely keep it together over that alone, but now my go to person literally told me tonight he doesn't care about me anymore. And I don't know what to do. I moved across the country to be with him, I don't have enough money to survive on my own for more than 2 weeks and everything's shut down. I don't even have a car to uber with. IDK whether this makes sense but I need to get it off my chest. Please let me know any feedback or advice you have.