I'm trying..I thought I was in the clear when I woke up this morning. But they started again and perseisted to start yelling at anyone. My mom decided to give me a lecture on how me and my sister are ridiculos for getting upset at them because they fight. That we are overlysensitive and they are people too and they deal with an enourmous amount of stress and that I'm a hypocrite because I fight with my sister all the time. I then responded but your the parent. She then blew her top and said she was a person too and she was allowed to get mad and yell and have a fit if she wanted to.

Then she yells at me because I'm trying to separte myself from my family and how I hate all of them and starts attacking me because of my religous beliefs and that I don't really believe in Judaism I just want to hurt her by distancing my self from my family.

Then my dad is a jerk and makes me feel like an idiot nothing I do is ever right to either one of them.

They just don't get it..they don't understand the effects it has on me and my sister. I'm shaking I'm so upset, angry, and I'm about to start crying. I'm trying to hold out..I'm not doing a great job though I'm eating emotionaly and I'm starting to use alchol as a replacement..I only drink it when I'm upset.

They left to go grocery shopping so I have about three hours of peace..I have to get out of here tonight..I can't handle it anymore..maybe I can go stay at friends house.

I feel so ridden with guilt..I'm a horrible person..I truly am.