I know how you feel. I come from a dysfunctional family also. I was also homeless, broke, and abused many times. I came to the realization that my past or my family are things that I can't change. So, I am trying to focus on things I can change. I got a job and am working on my self-esteem by trying to be healthy and improving my appearance. I also want to return to school one day and find a better job. Nobody is telling me anything. I am just doing these things on my own. Of course, I'm much older than you. I used to blame my family and my past for not being happy. But, I realize I must focus on me, not on them. I am now on my own after being imprisoned by my parents for two years. They thought it was best for me to stay home and not do anything. So, I looked for a job and once I got it, I left home as soon as I could. I am now doing ok and looking forward to my future. It is easier to blame others for bad actions or thoughts. You are an adult now. I felt my bad life was everybody else's fault too. But, then, I came to the conclusion this is my life. I should take responsibility for myself and instead of blaming others for my situation, try to improve myself some how. Some people never leave their awful situations though.


It is not easy to take responsibility for oneself. It takes a lot of maturity and courage to realize your life is your responsibility. What you do with your life should be your doing, not others. Hopefully, you will see through your anger and make a future for yourself. I see you are like me and are attracted to men who abuse you because that is all you know. Take some time for yourself and learn to love yourself. Remember you are the most important person in this world in your life. You deserve better than being abused. Take care of yourself. I realized this that nobody will take care of me but myself. My parents are too old and and deluded to take care of me now. You will realize that when you are all alone you need to find it in yourself to love yourself and to carry on. Life is a challenge. It is not easy to live life well. But, you must live it well for yourself before finding someone who will love you for you. I have never found any man yet who loves me for me though. So, I am going to focus on living my life for myself. I hope you find the courage and love for yourself to break free from your family and your past.