Struggling, concentration is shot, paranoid, bugs, not sleeping well, spitefully suicidal (no plans), we're fighting, I feel defeated. When is it okay just to give up crawl in bed and wait it out? I'm so angry. I'm getting worse functionally as I age. It would be so much easier if I didn't have a family. as horrible as it sounds I regret them some times. I feel horrible for passing my mental issues to my son. Yes I know it will affect him 1000x worse if anything happens to me. I want to escape. I'm mad that I have to accept I'll always be disabled and need help. I'm good at figure out ways around issues but there is no way around this. I hate having "potential" and being to ****ed up to use it. I'm going to crawl into bed now until I can deal with life.