HI Open Eyes,

I think you are making a very good point here. I should indeed ask myself why I am even bothered with all this, and if I have some personality traits myself that keep me invested in her drama. Or any drama from others for that matter. I will definitely read up on that and try to find out what my role is here.

However, this dysfunctional pattern of my friend has indeed been going on for a couple of years now. And until now, each time she would reach out 'complain' I would reassure her, encourage her to find her own way, wish her well and go back to minding my own business. I have no interest in pushing myself into her life or am constantly intrigued by her on/off relationship. SHE is the one reaching out each time when she's feeling low. I would much more like her to be in a happy stable relationship and get married and have kids etc.

After 10 times of shrugging my shoulders and thinking whatever, her life, her drama, her decisions, the 11th time I'm just starting to wonder if it's just two people pushing and pulling each other and enjoy drama, or if maybe something more serious is going on.

At what point do you say ok now it doesn't sound funny anymore and this looks like stalking / abuse? Or do you always say that whatever someone is in, it's her own choice by definition?

It's a cut on her nose now and a boyfriend not accepting her attempts to break up. Ok let's say it's her choice. Next time she has a black eye. Do you still say oh she likes drama and if she really wanted out she would do so?

That's basically what I'm trying to figure out.

Besides that, again you are absolutely right there's only so much for me to do here.