Dear xmascarol,
I am so terribly sorry you are being overwhelmed by anxiety. How stressful and distressing. It is really heartbreaking that you are stuck in this horrible ordeal. Since I suffer from severe anxiety I know how brutal it can be. I have a technique I learned from a psychiatrist which helps me enormously. I would be happy to share it with you if you are interested. My heart goes out to you!
Sincerely yours, Yao Wen